Do you remember when pyramid power was all the rage?
You’d go to The Ekka in Brisbane or any of the other shows, fairs, and fetes; and someone would be trying to flog the enormous health and financial benefits of pyramid power by sitting in a pyramid or storing your valuables in a pyramid. Apparently, pyramid power can sharpen your razors too. Somehow, the wealth and the alleged immortality of the pharaohs would rub off on you if you used pyramids in your life. What a load of rubbish. The pharaohs died and their wealth wasted. They should have shared the wealth amongst their people to enrich their society.
It all fits in with the general quackery we see today and the charlatans who are trying to rip people off with unproven and unscientific treatments. What’s worse is when con artists trick you out of your money by applying a veneer of science to their deception. I see it regularly and it makes my blood boil. The amount of money these people demand to treat you is ridiculous. I came across one today which offers a payment plan linked to a credit company so your payment totalling thousands of dollars can be made weekly or monthly. I wonder what the interest rate is.
That said, with an entrepreneurial spirit I wonder if I could make money that way?
Just imagine, I could sell a three-sided pyramid made from chicken drumsticks as a super pyramid that meant anything cooked within would taste better and be better for you. It would be the ultimate in wellness and healthfulness. Turkey drumsticks would be better and goose drumsticks better again. After all, bigger is better. For a family feast, can you imagine using three drumsticks from emus and cassowaries? My version of a turducken would be cooking something under the concentric three sides of a pyramid made with turkey, duck and chicken drumsticks. Nine legs have to be better than three right! And three squared is nine and we all know that squaring something adds power.
Orgasmic, multiorgasmic even
I give you my life giving, life saving, life maintaining, life-sustaining duck fat roast potatoes made with pyramid power. A three-sided chicken drumstick pyramid to be precise. Eating these spuds laden in saturated duck fat will give you a longer better healthful life and better sex with amazing orgasms. Hang on, I should add the word organic because that’s what the confidence trick is all about. When people add organic to the name of a food they must really mean it will be orgasmic because really, organic means it contains carbon, as in organic chemistry. Think of that, you can have orgasmic chemistry!!! That would have been much more interesting to study at high school and university. You could write romance novels about couples with orgasmic chemistry!
Carbon is good
It’s remarkable that people mistakenly believe carbon is bad when it’s the basis for life on earth as we know it. When did some moron determine that carbon dioxide (CO2) could be shortened to simply carbon? Even worse is the shortening of “carbon dioxide, methane, nitrous oxide and perfluorocarbons” to just carbon. It’s idiotic. What are people being taught in school these days?
So to cure erectile dysfunction and to help achieve longer multiple orgasms, I recommend “organic pyramid power spuds, roasted in duck fat and cooked under three chicken drumsticks shaped into a three-sided super pyramid”.
Pyramid power check list
☑ Better health
☑ Longer life
☑ Better cardiovascular fitness
☑ Better memory
☑ Better endurance and stamina
☑ Higher intelligence
☑ Greater attractiveness to those of your sexual orientation
☑ Better sex including better orgasms
So, anyway, whatevs. Here’s my dinner. Three chicken drumsticks, a spud roasted in duck fat, and some avocado with chillies and spring onion in it.
Sorry, I should have wrapped this entire blog post with facetiousness tags <facetious> </facetious> And please note the disclaimer on this blog about medical advice. I do not have a doctor-patient relationship with you. My cynicism, scepticism and sarcasm are all my own
If you’re a purveyor of, or believer in mindless, baseless, maleficent confidence trickery, I’m sorry for hurting your feelings. Feel free to leave a comment.
I regularly post photographs of food to Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Please feel free to connect with me on any social media platform.
I also have a podcast. It’s not food related but each show is short and it’s named Medical Fun Facts. You can find it in the iTunes podcast store as well as Stitcher. A show drops every Monday and Tuesday. It has a little cynicism, a little scepticism and occasionally some sarcasm.