Spam

Fake spam

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Dear Reader,

I hope you’ve had a good week.

How is the foot?

What’s happened this week?

There’s nothing really to report this week. I’m using crutches to get around. The kitchen stool which Kathleen got me makes a big difference in the kitchen. I am so grateful for Kathleen in my life.

Unlike the situation associated with the straight leg brace for the knee, I can bend my knee and sit without excess discomfort. It means I can work at my dining table. I can still take part in virtual meetings.

While it is convenient to work from home, my upstairs neighbours are undertaking renovations. For days, there has been the constant noise of power tools and hammering.

What have I been watching?

Star Trek Deep Space Nine and Star Trek Voyager

I continue to alternate between the two series, one episode at a time.

There is a DS9 episode named “Move Along Home”. Many regard it as one of the worst Star Trek experiences ever produced. It is pretty weak, but it’s still Star Trek, so I watched it.

In VOY, there is an episode named “Threshold”, which is regarded similarly. It’s still Star Trek, so I watched it.

What have I been listening to?

No such thing as a fish

Now that my favourite host, Anna, has returned from maternity leave, I’ve restarted listening to this comedy podcast.

To help overcome the problem of getting to sleep with tinnitus, I’ve been listening to older episodes and falling asleep to the podcast.

Recipe — Fake Spam

This post isn’t a recipe but a description. I’m unable to get out and buy groceries, so I rely on supermarket delivery.

I always mark “no substitution” to avoid receiving products I don’t want. This process doesn’t always work.

I added classic Spam to my list and received Plumrose spiced ham. The tins look very similar, and for all I know, the Plumrose and Spam production lines may be the same. That said, when I opened the bag and saw this, I was disappointed.

My first thought was how my spam-loving siblings across the South Pacific and Southeast Asia would react to an error like this.

Equipment

  • Air fryer or oven

Ingredients

  • Fake spam

Instructions

  1. Peel back the tab on the tin to open it and discard the sheet of metal attached to the tab.
  2. Invert the tin and slam it down on the cutting board.
  3. If you slam it hard enough, the vacuum holding the meat in the tin is overcome and the meat slides out. In my mind it’s like a coup contrecoup head injury. If you’re not familiar with the term coup contrecoup, look it up in a search engine. The consistency of the fake spam (and spam for that matter) is similar to a mammalian brain.
  4. Slice off a good wodge of fake spam and lay it on a baking sheet lined with baking paper.
  5. Cook in an air fryer for between 10 and 15 minutes at about 180 °C.
  6. Wait for the fake spam to cool a little and then plunge a fork through it and take small bites while holding the fork. Be careful, it will be hot and the mucosa and epithelium of the hard palate are delicate and sensitive.
  7. Don’t forget, always give thanks to the Lord.

Thoughts on the meal

I split the tin into three portions and had some for lunch over three days.

Not surprisingly, this Plumrose spiced ham tastes similar to Spam.

I think I’ll look at the prices of each and choose the cheaper version whenever I’m craving Spam/Spiced ham.

When I’m more mobile, I’ll probably do things like dice the meat and fry it and add it to scrambled eggs or an omelette. Other serving suggestions include frying slices with eggs in butter.

Prior to my low carbohydrate healthy fat way of eating, I’d happily use Spam in meals like fried rice. I expect the Plumrose spiced ham would perform just as well.

I wonder if Hawaiian spam-lovers would use Plumrose spiced ham to make “spam” musabi.

Final thoughts

  • Have you eaten Plumrose spiced ham? What did you think?

Disclaimer and comments

This post and other posts on this blog are not medical or health advice. I’m sharing my personal experiences from my lived experience. My opinions remain mine.

For health advice, see your regular medical practitioner. For diet advice, consult with appropriately registered professionals.

Fried rice with Spam and Chinese sausage

Dear Reader,

How are you? I hope the past week has been good for you. I’ve had a good one. Work has been good and life in general is on track. It’s wonderful to feel happy.

On Thursday night, I got back to bible study which had been in hiatus over the school holidays. I attend a fellowship in a parish with three fellowships and a large number of bible study groups. It was good to meet a couple of new people to the group.

Another high point was returning to my honorary VMO role at the local hospital on Friday. It was good to think a little differently and to spend time with other medical practitioners and medical laboratory scientists. I met a new trainee and spent time with another trainee discussing last week’s tutorial topic.

Because of COVID-19 and because we work in close quarters, we wear particulate filter respirators (P2/N95 respirators) and face shields when we’re near others. It’s a relatively light inconvenience to be able to work.

Me wearing a PFR and face shield

Do you get inspired to cook things when chatting with friends? I do. Earlier in the week, I was chatting with dear friend who has a love of Spam probably greater than my own fondness for the salty porcine treat. She’s amazing, she eats it straight out of the tin. I always cook mine first. It turns out, she’s not familiar with Chinese sausage, so I described how I like eating Chinese sausage.

Tonight’s meal is quick and easy and tasty.

Ingredients

  • Brown rice (microwave radiation variety)
  • Spam
  • Chinese sausage
  • Spring onion
  • Fennel
  • Red onion
  • Capsicum
  • Red cabbage
  • Soy sauce
  • Cooking sherry
  • Fried shallots
  • Fried noodles

Instructions

  1. Pull back the tab on a tin of Spam and give it a shake to get the block of processed and cured pork onto a plate. You will hopefully enjoy the satisfying thud when it lands. You should also hear a gentle whoosh as the slippery meat slides out of the tin and pressure of forced gravity exceeds the force of the vacuum holding the meat in its cosy vault. It sounds like a gentle fart.
  2. Cut the prism of meat into a thirds and then cut one third into one centimetre cubes.
  3. Take your Chinese sausage in hand and with a sharp knife, slice it on an angle for a fancy look and feel. Doing this also gets more surface area on the cooking surface to more easily render out all the fatty juices from your sausage.
  4. Place the Spam and sausage into a cold skillet and gently heat with the lid on. Gently agitate the skillet to keep the meat moving and as the fat renders out the meat will brown and caramelise.
  5. While the meat is frying off, cook the rice with microwave radiation according to the packet instructions.
  6. Add the cooked rice to the pan which should now be meat swimming in fat.
  7. The rice will soak up the tasty fatty goodness. Nothing like a nice fatty sausage.
  8. Add a splash of soy sauce for more saltiness and for the colour to the rice.
  9. Cook until the rice starts to dry and stick a little.
  10. Add a slug of cooking sherry and deglaze the surface of the skillet.
  11. Turn the heat off and add the sliced spring onions, fennel, red onion, and red cabbage.
  12. Stir everything through and transfer to a bowl.
  13. Garnish with some fried noodles and fried shallots for some crunch.
  14. Give thanks to the Lord and enjoy.

How was it?

The meal was a little more salty than I should have eaten. My hypertension probably didn’t appreciate it.

I split the meal in half so I can eat the rest tomorrow.

Final thoughts

  1. Do you eat Spam straight from the tin?
  2. How do you stop your glasses and face shield from fogging up? I can’t seem to find a way to prevent it.
  3. Do you enjoy Chinese sausage? How do you like your Chinese sausage?

The great Spam challenge of 2021!

Last week, after Zoom church, there was a chat session after the service and during the conversation, a friend mentioned she was going to have Spam with week. That was enough for me to embark on a Spam challenge.

Feel free to check out the Facebook posts and leave a comment if you like.

Final thoughts

  • Do you like Spam?
  • What Spam recipes would you recommend?
  • Out of the facebook posts above, which would you choose to make and eat?

Spam and vegetable traybake

Spam and vegetable traybake with fresh pineapple and rye sourdough toast.

A couple of weeks ago I made a sausage and vegetable traybake.

It’s been a while since I’ve opened a can of Spam. I was watching a Bon Appétit video on YouTube, and Spam was the featured ingredient.

I shared the video with a Facebook friend who also likes Spam and played on my mind overnight.

Ingredients

  • Spam
  • Pineapple
  • Eggplant
  • Capsicum
  • Red onion
  • Broccoli
  • Garlic
  • Paprika
  • Parsley
  • Iodised salt
  • Whole black peppercorns
  • Extra virgin olive oil
  • Sourdough bread
  • Grated cheese 

Instructions

  1. Turn your oven on and set the temperature for between 180 and 200 °C.
  2. Sharpen your cook’s knife and think about Proverbs 27:17.
  3. Cut pineapple into quarters, trim off the skin and cut away the fibrous core. You can use as much or as little pineapple as you like. I used a whole quarter and diced it.
  4. Peel the eggplant and cut it into bite-sized cubes.
  5. Dice the Spam into small pieces.
  6. Thickly slice the capsicum.
  7. Cut the florets off a head of broccoli and cut the stalks into small lengths.
  8. Smash your garlic with your fist and peel the papery skin off.
  9. Put everything into a large mixing bowl and splash with extra virgin olive oil. Get your hands in there and gently fondle everything to ensure everything gets touched by the oil.
  10. Season generously with the flaky iodised salt.
  11. Spread everything onto a baking tray leaving enough room for a slice of sourdough bread.
  12. Pour EVOO over one side of the sourdough bread.
  13. Place the baking tray into the oven.
  14. Cook for 10 minutes.
  15. Remove the baking tray and turn the bread over and use a pair of tongs to separate the vegetables and turn them over.
  16. Cook for 10 minutes and remove the bread.
  17. Return the tray to the oven and check the vegetables regularly over the next ten minutes to ensure everything is tender.
  18. Remove the tray and allow everything to rest for a few minutes.
  19. After the Spam and vegetables have cooled, season with freshly ground black pepper and drizzle some Old Bones smoked garlic chilli sauce over the Spam pieces and vegetables while the food is warm.
  20. Transfer everything to a dinner plate and add the toasted sourdough on the side with some spicy mango chutney spread on the bread.
  21. Sit down with your meal and gives thanks to the Lord for dinner.

Final thoughts

I know Spam isn’t popular. Spam isn’t healthful. That said, Spam is delicious.

Spam fried cauliflower rice inspired by Mrs Woog

Saturday lunch. Baked Spam fried cauliflower rice with a fried egg.
Saturday lunch. Baked Spam fried cauliflower rice with a fried egg.

Spam fried cauliflower rice inspired by Mrs Woog

Cauliflower rice was recently mentioned by Mrs Woog over at her blog. I should disclose I have not listened to her podcast but I did write a comment. It sort of fits in with a Tweet from today.

You’ll need to read the comment I made on Mrs Woog’s post to see why.

So now that I seem to have recovered from my traveller’s diarrhoea, it seemed appropriate to have some Spam for lunch. I’d eaten a couple of rashers of streaky bacon for breakfast, so I thought some vegetable matter would be appropriate for lunch. Spam fried cauliflower rice was the first thing that came to mind.

I bought everything from Coles. The Spam was on special.

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