MEATER made splayed chicken

MEATER made splayed chicken

Dedicated to the Portuguese who made splaying a chicken flat famous

Or, at least, that’s what I’ve been led to believe

Preparing this chicken reminds me of the anatomy laboratory at the University of Queensland in 1984. At the end of the year, I went into the laboratory during swotvac for some revision and all I could see were all the cadavers laid out dorsum up and the neuroanatomy professor harvesting the vertebral columns with a circular saw. Zip zip and he had a collection of spines for further study.

I don’t want anyone to misunderstand though. I’m not cooking Portuguese chicken, I’m just splaying out the chook with kitchen shears so I can cook the meat evenly and thoroughly.

I’m using a simple seasoning of iodised salt prior to cooking the chook and then flavouring with freshly cracked black pepper after it’s cooked.

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I bought all the ingredients from Coles. Yummy Lummy is not sponsored by anyone.

Recipe

MEATER made splayed chicken
Prep Time
10 mins
Cook Time
38 mins
Faffing
10 mins
Total Time
48 mins
 
MEATER made splayed chicken cooked perfectly with a wireless meat thermometer and served with mandolin-sliced potato and sweet potato
Course: Main Course
Cuisine: Australian
Keyword: Chicken, Mandolin, MEATER
Servings: 1 Human macrophage
Calories: 500 kcal
Author: Gary
Ingredients
The chicken bit
  • 1 Whole chicken
  • 2 teaspoons Iodised salt
  • 1 teaspoon Freshly cracked black pepper
  • 2 tablespoons Olive oil
The meat-free bit
  • 1 Potato
  • 1 Sweet potato
  • Beans Frozen
  • Broccoli Frozen
  • Sugar snap peas Frozen
Instructions
The chicken bit
  1. Unwrap the chicken and with kitchen towel pat the skin dry
  2. With a pair of kitchen shears remove the chook’s vertebral column
  3. With kitchen towel pat dry the surfaces of what was the internal cavity of the chook
  4. Rub your hands with some olive oil and then massage your meat to transfer the olive oil to the surfaces of the chook
  5. Season both the external and what was the internal cavity surfaces of the chook with iodised salt
  6. Insert a meat thermometer into the thickest muscle bundle which is the thigh
  7. Set the desired cooking temperature to 74 °C (165 °F)
  8. Cook in an oven which had been preheated to 200 °C (400 °F)
  9. When the internal temperature of the chook reaches 74 °C (165 °F) remove it from the oven and allow it to rest until the internal temperature reaches room temperature
  10. Brush the cooked skin with some olive oil and then season with freshly cracked black pepper
  11. Dissect the chicken so the bulk of the chicken meat can be used during the week for sandwiches to enjoy at work
  12. Set aside a hindquarter (aka Chicken Maryland in Australia) for dinner
The meat-free bit
  1. Wash and dry the outside of a potato and sweet potato
  2. Thinly slice the potato and sweet potato with a knife or a mandolin being careful not to slice open your thumb or any other part of your body
  3. Brush each slice with olive oil and season with iodised salt
  4. Make three short stacks and alternate between potato and sweet potato
  5. Place the stacks as a trivet to support the chicken while it cooks
  6. Cook the beans, broccoli, and sugar snap peas in salted boiled water
Plating up bit
  1. Place each element on a plate and dress with a little extra virgin olive oil
Blogging bit
  1. Shoot a photograph and a short video because Google now wants video on recipe cards.
  2. Eat the meal.
  3. Wash the dishes (hint, wash as you cook, it makes life easier).
  4. Write the recipe.
  5. Write the blog post.
  6. Hit publish and hope this blog post gets shared on Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest.

Recipe Video

Recipe Notes

Disclaimer

I have no culinary training nor qualifications. This post is not intended to convey any health or medical advice. If you have any health concerns about anything you read, please contact your registered medical practitioner.

The quantities are indicative. Feel free to vary the quantities to suit your taste. I deliberately do not calculate energy for dishes. I deliberately default to 500 Calories or 500,000 calories because I do not make these calculations.

Photographs

This is a gallery of photographs. Click on one image and then scroll through the photographs.

Questions and answers

What’s with the caution about the mandolin?

Last night I sliced open the skin on the ventral surface over the second phalanx. I was slicing a red onion with a mandolin and I wasn’t using the safety guard. I’m an idiot. There was blood everywhere. Because I’d used a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory agent for a headache, it bled like a stuck pig.

Blood kept oozing even with five bandaids over the laceration. Because the orientation of the laceration I couldn’t approximate the wound edges so it will granulate and heal by secondary intention. It was still oozing blood this morning.

Why harvest the vertebral column of this chook?

Splaying out the chook ensures more even cooking. I didn’t feel like making any stuffing, so I thought it would be easier to lay the chicken out flat and cook it that way.

Why choose the thigh for the meat thermometer?

The muscle bundles in the thigh are thicker than the breast muscle bundles. I wanted to make sure the chicken meat was thoroughly cooked to ensure the death of pathogenic bacteria.

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Final thoughts

  • Have you ever splayed out a chicken in this fashion to cook it?
  • Have you ever had a mandolin accident?
  • Are you happy with just simple seasoning of chicken meat?

Sponsorship

Yummy Lummy has no sponsors but maintaining a blog isn’t free. If anyone or any company would like to contribute please contact me.

12 Responses

  1. I’m often happy with simple seasonings that don’t take time to prepare. Sometimes complicated preparations can ruin the natural taste of things, so simple ingredients and preparations can go a long way.

  2. Splaying the chicken lays it out to a wider surface area, so it absorbs more flavour and spices. I like simple seasoning too, usually salt, pepper and maybe some parsley and rosemary.

    On the bright side, you still got your hands and fingers. Hope it’s healing 😃

    1. Thanks Mabel. Sadly, I’m too old for the missing tissue to grow back. In kids <10 years, tips of fingers often grow back.

  3. Looks delicious! I’ve splayed chicken before – it makes a real difference, doesn’t it? And yes, I’ve also had the dreaded mandolin accident–it was more than 25 years ago and I still have the scar on my thumb. Like you, I don’t think chicken legs need much. If you’re doing breast, though, it cries out for gravy or some kind of creamy sauce.

    1. Thanks, Emma. This was a really nice meal. I reckon the scar will make touch identification on my smart devices a little more difficult 😂
      I may have to have some sort of sandwich cream for the leftover chicken when I make sandwiches.

      1. Well, that is one way to get yourself off police databases… 😂😉enjoy your sandwiches

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